You have no friends.
I know. I’m just surrounded by people claiming that they are, but in the back of my mind, I know they aren’t. They’re just staying by my side because they need something from me. They’re just using me. I’m completely aware of that. And when the tables turned and it’s me who is in great need, they’re nowhere to be found. They’re like shadows, they always left me during my darkest moments. It’s so ironic that they’re claiming that they got my back, but when the real situation comes, I turn around and they’re not there. As fast as lightning, they’re gone. I never confront them about it because, what for? They’ll just invient stories to save their faces and to evade their mistakes. Friends don’t do that. Real friends will never do that. Now how can I call them my friends when it’s pretty obvious that they’re stabbing me behind my back. They can hide their true colors when they’re around me. They can clothe themselves with a robe of hypocrisy. But they can’t fool me.
Okay. Fine. I don’t care anyway. No man is an island, they say. But it’s better to be just by myself than to be with people who are made of plastic. It’s okay. They won’t hear anything from me. And I won’t try to fit myself on a spot I know they’ll never give me. Why should I bother myself with these things? I admit, having no friends can be boring sometimes. But yeah, let’s say I do have friends but how can I have fun with them when I know that it’s me that serves as their entertainment. I’ll just make a fool of myself. And it’s hard to pretend that I’m laughing with them when all I want to do is to run away and lock myself in a cellar so I could hide from their accusing eyes and mocking mouths. At least I’ve got the internet, I’ve got books, I’ve got food. I’ll just be contented with that. Friends? Of course I won’t delete that word from my vocabulary because i still have plenty of time to find someone who will show me the real meaning of that word. Maybe next day, or the day after, or next month. Who knows.